Yang Berbahagia PAKCIK ...

What a beautiful morning it was..the birds were singing..a breeze of morning air caress my face, ahhh nice..indeed, Yes, everything seems so perfect. I started my day by sending my children to their school. Then headed to Oldtown for my morning breakfast before going to my scheduled medical appointment at a local hospital here. After spending almost the whole day at the hospital, I went to my daugther's school to buy her a new workbook that I promised sometime ago.

I asked the bookstore lady if the workbook is still available, she then mentioned that I need to purchase it directly from my daughter’s classroom teacher. Thanking her among the crowded school children at the bookstore counter, I walked off, as I was walking, I heard a girl calling somebody from behind, "pakcik! pakcik! pakcik!". Hmm..I said to myself why on earth does the old man did not answer the poor girl's calling.

Suddenly, I felt a small hand grabbing my elbow from behind, I turned around, the little girl smiled and said "pakcik!". OMG! dark clouds rained on me with lightning strikes!!! that pakcik is me!!! It turned out, the little girl (a prefect by the way) overheard my conversation at the bookstore, she then directed me to another teacher that could also provide the same workbook. I could felt my ears were bleeding profusely every time she said " pakcik!..cikgu tu dalam bilik guru, pakcik! nak saya tolong tunjukkan? pakcik!, sini pakcik! pakcik! pakcik!, pakcik! dengar tak ni?"

I could barely walked straight every time I heard the word "pakcik"..it was like being electrocuted with the Taser Gun. Now I know how every 'pakciks' felt the first time they are honoured with this title. Sure as hell a rude shock there..all the while I always thought that I got this so called youthful look and still thinking I'm young, until that very dreadful day. Okay..knock! knock! Mr Reality is here, here is the news..you're OLD..your youth? well..he had enough! here you go..your Datukship..or should I say your "Pakcikship".

If only the little girl knew, that she had made a history for me that day, anyway I'm sure she will become a fine person one day. She sure is a gifted child, she got talent in picking the right choice of word and of course such an adorable helping hand, assisting the helpless pakcik like me.

As for me, yeah life goes on, it took me sometime to digest this new vocab and register it into my brain, but finally it did. We got to move forward right? so I take this title in stride and pride!! and try to get use to it, more and more kids will call me 'pakcik' from now on..heck! I even walk differently now, more like a pakciks species. To all those pakciks out there, here is another member in your club!

Red Onion : The Bacteria & Virus Super Absorbing Sponge!!

Salam...

Two weeks ago, a colleague in my office recently was diagnosed with H1N1, and the scary part was, I had a face to face discussion with him a day before that. Of course common-sense I thought, damn I would be next, the next day I took vaccination that cost me about RM75. A word of advice, if any of you plan to take the vaccination please ensure that it covers both Influenza A and H1N1-like strain. The old version of vaccine only covers Influenza A. Thank God, till now I am still free from it.

Well that is the modern approach of combating the virus, there is always a better and natural alternatives. One of them is the Big Red Onion!

A friend of mine said to try out by putting a couple of red onions in my house ( i.e living room, study room) and in the car. The power of the Onion, it absorbs the viruses and bacterias. There is a short tale about it too. In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people, there is a doctor who visited many farmers to see if he could help them fight the flu. Many farmers and their families have been infected and many died. The doctor was visiting a peasant family, and a surprise, everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what makes them different farmer, his wife replied that she had put the red onions that have been peeled in a dish in every room in the house, (maybe only two rooms at the time).

The doctor did not believe it and asked if he could have one of the red onion to see under a microscope. Farmer’s wife gave him one and when he did this, he discovered the flu virus in the red onion. This onion is clear absorb bacteria, therefore, keeping this family stay healthy.

If you search in the internet, you will find many articles related to the benefits of the Red Onions and its cousins! No more complaints of its pungent smell and our watery eyes each time peeling them, the benefits are tremendous!! let's all try it!

Responsibility...

You know..if the one thing I could wish for in my life..it is probably I would wished that time would stood still during my childhood years.. God! everything was so easy back then..life was sooo simple and happy. I would never had a care in the world..it was just play..play... and play again..then eat..oh yeah the only part I hate was going to bed, it was only because I had to stop playing!


Yes I know, it is only a wishful thinking, it is unlogical..unethical maybe to some! but sometimes when things got so complicated, we tend..no! I tend to sneak for a little moment, dreaming of something nice back to my childhood days again..ohhh that would ease my mind...sigh. Opss hello!!! wake up!!! back to reality! this is a cruel world..stay focus..stay alert..get that low life spirit of yours up and running again, and for god's sake please try to stay alive at least until your kids get to be independent. Yup that's my alarm clock in my head..each time I suddenly dozed off again.

During my childhood time, I was so hurry wanted to grow up..always pretending acting as a grown up person. I always thought that being a grown up..an adult was so cool..why is it so?, well for one, you are taller, much taller, you are smarter, you have freedom! you could shave every morning ( haha!!) you get to drive a real car! and you have money!!!. Boy! I was so darn wrong hah!

One of the most important thing that as a kid that we never had in our vocabulary was the word "responsibility"..heck what is that! it is too complicated for a child to understand. Even some adults still having problem to comprehend this..that is why there are so many chaos in our society.

Well..now officially I am an adult, being an adult for the last how many years?..hmmm I lost count...nevermind, well let's go back to my checklist when I was 10 years old energetic, hyperactive! little Dennis the Menace!

1) Taller - yes! but..tough luck only just a little taller - I'm the hobbit type..bummer!

2) Smarter - well I think sometimes I am smart..but most of the time just stupid..

3) Freedom - temporary only..then I got married hehehe...well that's another story :P

4) Shave - yes..no more joy! it is routine job now. no wonder the Gillette boys are so rich..its never stops!!!

5) Real car - ahh yes..but damn I'm two months due..argghh when was the last time I serviced my car!

6) Money - It is never enough..flows out like the water, when will I find a DAM?? like The Three Gorges Dam..sigh..certainly not in this working life.

.....and the list goes on..

An adult can go crazy..if he or she doesn't understand the word responsibility..and this word is not a one time off, when you understand it..that's it you will practise it and remember it for life..hell no!! the word is so easy for us to be forgotten!..It has to be reminded all the time..well I don't know about you guys..maybe you all the smart type..me I am just stupid and dumb so I have to remind myself..or most of the time my wife and kids have to remind me.

I have a life, it is no silver spoon but it is my life..with my beloved family. Thank God! I am still sane, for now and committed to be a responsible person and hope to be that way till the day I die.

Depression...a sign before a tragic end

Depression...is a dangerous disease.

It feeds on your soul..slowly you feel the darkness, the hollow...the despair growing inside of you. You feel such an emptiness...sad and sorrow, to such extent if you succumb to it, you may want it to end by taking your life! In some stage of our life, surely we are caught by the disease just like when we caught a flu. Most of the time we managed to overcome this by building our defenses holistically and spiritually.


Unfortunately not all of us could survive this dreadful sickness. Quite a number of us perished and died wastefully by committing suicide or ran amok by hurting others and even murdering innocent people. It is a very tragic and sad tale each time when we see in the news..read in the papers..a person gunned down dozens of people before killing himself/herself..or a teenager commit suicide just because he/she failed in their exam..


Sometimes we could identify these people who are suffering from depression..most of the time, they tend to isolate themselves from the crowd, tend to be alone..sometimes they could hear little voices talking to them..I don't really know..but some of the incidents happened, these people claimed they were instructed to do harm because of these voices telling them to do so. Only the person knows the real deal or may not..since insanity has taken control.


Some people who realized that they are suffering from it, who are still sanely and still in control of themselves would seek help through counseling, getting support from their loved ones, and even better seek assistance through religious approach. In this fast moving world..this kind of disease are getting more and more common. Beware! seek help before it is too late!

Happy Mother's Day- 10th May 2010

Dear readers...

Yup is mother's day again..

Yes we all know that it is not only on May 10th we show our appreciation to our mothers..it should be all the time..but let us make an extra special on that day. "Syurga dibawah telapak kaki Ibu"..I remember when I was a kid, I used to ask my mother.is it true Mak? there's a heaven underneath your feet? hahaha...yes kids will only think straight and can't understand yet between the lines.


To my mother Habibah Marzuki..all my love for you. You are the best mom a son could ever had. I am sorry for not being there for you most of the time..made you cried a lot of times ( still do? )..made you worry like a million times!!!..but yet you never ever give up on me..you are always there for me..you are my pillar of strength..you are my inspiration..my icon..my everything..


I am thankful..that I still have a mother to see and to hold. I feel sorry for my wife who had lost her mother Allahyarham Nik Khairiah(cik), I know I could never understand how it is like to lose your love ones..It is almost 11 years now since Cik had passed away. May Allah blessed her soul..Al-fatihah.


To my wife..a mother of my two lovely kids..thank you for your ever lasting love for us..thanks for being a great mama showering us with your love and affection to our kids..we love you very much dear!!( it the truth..no catch hehehe)

A story of an autistic boy : Faris

Faris was born in a private clinic at Sg Ramal Kajang, He was vacuumed out in order to avoid suffocation. I remembered one of the nurses assisted in the delivery asked the doctor why was the baby cried too soft not as loud as a normal baby. The doctor just jokingly said you should not teased the baby, it will hurt his feelings. We as the newly parents were not aware of anything unusual , but I think the doctor knew...what was in store for us

When he was 2 months old, he was diagnosed with Venticular Septal Defects (VSD), in simple term means, he had a hole in his heart. As he grew by the months..his hole was getting bigger, we were advised to go for surgery to patch up the hole. He was barely 10 months old going for the surgery. I remembered, me and my wife, we were so young 25 & 23..still in shocking stage..the operation at IJN lasted for almost 3 hours. I could still recalled how I cried hysterically at the first sight I saw him at the ICU room, his tiny boney body was wired all over. Normally in any VSD closure operation, the patient would be in ICU for three days before the patient is being transferred to a normal ward. But Faris did not stablize, he was in coma, for two long weeks..we felt like forever. We are being tormented each time the doctors scrambled to revive him..we could not take it the dreadful feeling of losing him....we just can't live with that..we can't let him go. At the same time..the company that I worked winded up..I had no job..but we never cared..all our thoughts were all focused on Faris.

Before the operation, my mom advised me to pray a lot..but I never really took her advise seriously..and being the so called modern thinking..I put my trust on the doctors, whom I thought could do wonders. Until one day, I just do not know why, based on my gut feeling, I requested Faris to be transferred from the adult ICU once the paedratric ICU has a vacant spot. As I was looking at Faris from a far, the doctors did a routine check up..I could still recalled the exact words blurted out for one of the doctors..she said " budak ni takda harapan, this boy is hopeless, he has no chance". What she did not realize I was there and could heard what she said..I still curse that doctor till this very day. So much for putting trust on the doctors. At the same time, I realized, the only one I should seek help is from Allah..I felt so ashamed..so helpless..I begged for Faris to be saved. That was the time I really really pray my heart and soul out..tears were flowing each time..wanting..begging..praying...for Faris to survive this ordeal. Strangely, at the same time..I felt so calm..started to feel compose..settled down. Somehow there was a feeling that things will turned out just fine.

On the day, my wife's grandma ( Tok wan) visited my son at IJN, that was the first time Faris finally opened his eyes..woke up from his two weeks in coma. Since then, his condition improved tremendously..he became stable and after a few days, he was transferred to the normal ward. After almost a month, my wife, who had sacrificed so much finally get to sleep besides him. This is a blessing in disguise..I have realized now..of course, being a weak forgetful human as I am..I need to be reminded all the time, I guess that is why we are always being 'tested' so that we will not go astray along the way.

The doctors who treated Faris marvelled at his turning point of recovery. After three years of follow ups at IJN, the hospital declared that no further follow up was required, he has fully recovered.


Little that we know, Faris has something else waiting to surprise us yet again. At three years old and going to be four, we started to worry, why he tends to play by himself and do not mixed with other children at his nursery school..why he has not spoken a single word..not even "mama". We took him to HUKM for check up, then the second blow came to us..he was diagnosed for Autism and ADHD.

Autism by definition is a term that refers to a collection of developmental disorders that affect the brain. This brain disorder affects a person's ability to communicate, form relationship with others, and respond appropriately to the external world.

ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity is a disorder of childhood and adolescence characterized by lack of impulse control, inability to concentrate, and hyperactivity.

Since then, he has been doing routine theraphy, an early theraphy intervention the doctors called it, in order to help him to cope and adjust to the best of his ability comparing to a normal kid. At that point of time, we started to become worried for his future since we know now that there is no cure for Autistic child and this is a life impairment. The theraphy includes from speech, music, computer, behaviour etc. These kind of theraphies have different approach and different name such as Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA)and Picture Exchange Communications System (PECS). All this therapies and special school he attended is by far not cheap..it is very expensive. Not many choices of special school available and the structure of these special school in general are not well organized. The public schools in our country is not uptodate with the development of special children needs, that is why many parents who could afford would go for private schools which are better structured ( although not even to international standards). For other parents, they had no choice but to stick with the public schools. The problem with public schools, that there are short of teachers in special education..moreover the students from all different kinds of diagnosed from dexlesia, ADHD, down syndrome, slow learners and autistic are included in one class. Whereas my opinion, these children should be educated on one to one session.

Faris's diagnosed also changed our life completely. We as parents felt guilty of what he is going through, what will become his future..we also felt that how will our families, friends and people will look at us and treat us..in short we felt isolated, depressed and outcast by the society. Our emotions become quite unstable from being very sensitive, depressed and protactive. The accepatance of our Malaysian society on Autistic children is still very low ( such a dissapointment) I hate them..sometimes whenever these so called 'perfect people' looked at us, as if we came from a different planet, or think that autism is contagious, we felt so hurt,sad and so depressed. I sometimes wished that they would have children or relatives like we do, and so that they will ONLY understand and be more understanding towards autistic chilren and parents like us. Life has become such a struggle for us in accepting the fact that this is a reality and we need to face it, accept it and improve it.

But this take us many years to finally adjust to this condition. Many phases we need to go through..many many challeges we have to overcome. In the year 2006, he stared to get epilepsy or seizure each time he was having fever..this took another toll in our life, i remembered driving frantically rushing home each time when he has seizure. His seizure attacks became worse and worse each time until it happened even when he is well. One strong seizure occured in year 2007, and the doctor diagnosed this as status epilepticus. Afterthat Faris had to go through many many test from EEG, MRI and etc. The hospital was like our 2nd home.




As we carry on with our life, each day trying to make the best of what we can. Though I feel, there should be more efforts I wished I could contribute, more time I wished I could spent with him, but I guess statisfying myself could never happen. Deep in my heart, I still fear for his future..can he become independent in his adulthood? will he has friends and other family relatives that are willing to take care of him and support him?. Although I can't have the assurance on his future, but I have faith..I am sure, Faris will always has his footings..Allah will look after him, his 'rezeki' and well being InsyaAllah will be taken care of.


Today, Faris has made tremendous achievements. He is now 10. He is now able to uttered a few words although it is not clearly most of the time, but to us each time he has a new vocabulary, it is a celebration for us. His behaviour has improved remarkably, I would say his ADHD has minimized.



He smiles a lot. He laughs a lot too. He is always cheerful and in chirpy mood. At first glimpse, many would have thought he is just a normal 10 years old boy. But nobody knew that this boy has gone through many many episodes in his life...and he does not understand that life is not very kind in our world..as he grew older and become adult, there will be more, far more difficult challeges he has to face, and at that time he has to face it alone. Yes, we accept that he is not normal, because he is more than an average child, he is an extraordinaire. I am so proud and thankful of his accomplishment. He is my son..and I am a proud father.

Memories of year 2009

Salam...

Wow! I still could not believe, 2009 is leaving..thus 2010 will soon take over..it's another day...another week..another month..and yet again another year. Time speeds like a bullet. It is so fast, It's still feels like January 2009 was just like a couple months ago. How on earth things moved so fast? I guess we all are too busy running our day to day chores of our life.

Anyway, let us not let time dictates our life. We are supposed to be able to manage our time..make it a quality time..always!!! Let's us make everyday..a better day by day..year by year..and if we stumble..it does not matter how many times we fall..the most important is that we could stand up..and move on again! let's us learn from past, for a pleasant drive of the present day and hope the best for the years to come.